Hello, hello! It's been a month since I last posted! I thought I could post more during the summer vacation, but it turned out that was not the case! Like I said in the post, I have been working as a translator (I'm not a pro, though...), and since I am not good at balancing out multiple projects that are going on simultaneously, I have been focusing more on translating, rather that writing my own sentences...
Oh, and I really want to take a moment to say that my heart is with all the people who are and have been affected by the hurricane. People's lives and their safety always come first. Japan is a country that is frequently affected by natural disasters, and I know how hard they are. Japanese media also report about the hurricane everyday, and I get nervous and sad to see the news every time. Science and technology have developed so much, but human beings are still vulnerable when these kinds of natural disasters occur. Please be safe; safety always comes first! Evacuate if you need to, evacuate before you hesitate, and evacuate even before you think whether you need to evacuate or not.
So I think I am going to talk about body positivity today. Do you love your body? Are you satisfied with how your body looks? When you look at your body in the mirror, can you say, "I look beautiful!"? Well, if every single person could answer "Yes," to this questions, the whole "Love Your Body" movement and that sort of things do not make any sense. There are so many people, including me, out there who have insecurities about their own bodies.
I think the motto, "Love Your Body" is awesome. Yes, we all want to love our bodies, and be confident. And yes, it would be so great if we could all love our bodies, and encourage others to do the same. But the problem is: it simply is not that easy!
First, how do we love our bodies? Or what does it meant to love our bodies? How can we love our bodies when we know our bodies are not perfect? How can we love our bodies when we are surrounded by images of perfect bodies through media? Do we all have to look like fashion models? Would we be happy if we were tall enough, skinny enough, etc., like fashion models? There comes so many questions, and I'm sure you can add more to this list with ease.
Let me talk about my body from here. I have always been a skinny girl. I'm just naturally skinny. I try to eat healthy most of the times, although I do get lazy from time to time. I have never been on a strict diet, and I never had to in the first place. I have been told so many times throughout my life that I was skinny. "Wow, you're so skinny! Tell me your diet!" "I wish I were skinny like you!" "You're so skinny, I'm jealous!" So then, it's so easy to love my body, right? But the answer is, no.
How tall am I? I'm 156 cm, or 5'1", depending on where you live. And how heavy am I? I weigh 41.4 kg, or 91.2 lbs, again, depending on where you live. As I said, I have told that I was skinny, and I think many people (still) associate being skinny with goodness. So I must be happy all the time, right? No, unfortunately. Actually, there are many times, so many times that I think that I am not skinny enough, or I am not that skinny.
Living in Japan, there is this atmosphere that skinny is healthy, pretty, and good. I guess many people tend to think consciously or subconsciously that people who are not skinny ("fat" people) are also lazy; they don't take care of their bodies properly. So, in order to look healthy, attractive, and responsible, one needs to be skinny, or skinny enough, at least.
If you go watch Japanese television, you will see so many scenes where "fat" people are made fun of openly. I see that in the U.S., or maybe other parts of the world, the model/beauty industry has started to accept more diversity, although there is still a plenty of room for improvement. Ashley Graham is a very good example of such kind. She is a beautiful lady with a strong will. She has continued to speak up about body positivity and to make the definition of beauty more diverse. All the Japanese models are skinny; I don't see any improvement of that sort here in Japan. I mean, you can be the front cover of a big magazine in Japan, even if you are "not skinny," but not as a model, or a representation of beauty.
Also, in Japan, where people value modesty, you can't really be like, "Yeah, I am skinny!" When someone told you, "You're so skinny!" to give you a compliment (Remember? Skinny is good!), the most appropriate answer would be: "Oh, no! I'm not that skinny! You're skinny too!" or "No, you're skinnier!" It's like a ritual. Oh, let's not debate about how this ritual is ridiculous, and meaningless. I know this communication isn't creating or offering anything new when you think that communication is for exchanging information and getting something new. If you think in this way, you could argue that this type of ritual dialog is meaningless. But it's not. Every culture has rituals in how they are supposed to communicate with each other, and human being communicate not just to exchange information, but also to have a smooth social relationship.
Ok, that was quite an excursion. So, in this modesty context, you are not supposed to admit that you're skinny openly unless you have a 100% perfect body like models. Japanese girls say that they want to lose weight when they clearly do not need to. I think by say so, they are showing that they are not being a snob, presenting that they know they are not enough. And being on a diet is an act of working towards goodness and attractiveness, it should be praised. I think that is what is going on here.
I feel awkward and even sad when people come to me and say, "You're skinny! I'm jealous!" because that means people think skinny is solely beautiful. That is just an illusion that our society has created! I don't want girls to think they need to be skinny, or even skinnier than they are now, even though they are already perfectly beautiful and healthy. I always feel like, "Well, thank you for the compliment! But please don't say you want to be like me, cause you are already perfectly fine!" And it's sometimes hard even for me to admit that I'm skinny! Sometimes, I feel like I need to think that I need to be skinnier, or I am still fat, because of the pressure that society creates, and the pressure that I create for myself.
If you had a skinny body like me, you would never feel insecure about your body? Hell no! I do think I am fat sometimes, to be honest. And let me tell you my biggest insecurity about my body: boobs! I happen to have small breasts. I mean, my chest is literally flat like a little kid. And I have always wanted bigger boobs because I feel that bigger boobs are sexier and more feminine. I have been made fun of both openly and subtly because of these small breasts. A douchebag who cheated on me in the past has told me, "Now I'm dating with a girl with big boobs, now that I have an experience with small boobs (= me)." I think this is part of the reason why I tend to think that all men love bouncy boobs and not mine. I never wear clothes with a low neckline because I'm just not confident enough to show my chest area, and want to hide them. I get nervous when I wear bikinis, because I feel like people would look at my body, and be judgmental about my breasts. So I always choose a design that would hide my breasts entirely, rather than the one that shows the shape of my breasts. When I see girls with outfits that show their cleavages, I can't stop being jealous at them, because that's something I can never do.
I think it's too hard for people with insecurities about their bodies to totally love their bodies instantly. People say things like, "Oh, stop comparing!" But it's not that easy! We see lots of people everyday; it's not like each one of us lives in a cave from the day of birth till the day when we die, alone. I think what is important is that more and more people talk about their bodies. It's really important to know that every single person has some kinds of insecurities about their bodies, and that there is no such thing as pure perfection. If you can think and truly know that everybody has flaws, you can start to feel that you are not alone. And that will lead you to cherish your body despite of your flaws.
Thanks for reading if you made this far! I hope to see you again soon :) Bye!
