Live Your Goddamn Life!

Hey. I just got back to my parents' house yesterday. I'll be here until the end of this month. Wow, it's already March here in Japan, by the way. Time flies!

So... I was thinking about what I wanted to write about for my next post since I uploaded the last post. And I've decided to talk about my mindset concerning life. So here we go!

So many things are considered to be right or normal just because many people think they're right or normal, and people have done those things for a long time. And so many things are considered to be right or normal because they are safe, and relatively have low risks. Those things are right not because they're right, or normal not because they're actually normal. The idea of what's right and what's normal are socially constructed. And what I want to say in this post is that... you don't have to follow these rules.

"Well, things have always been this way, so that's why." "It's just the way it is." Jeez, I hate these. I love questioning things. I love to stop and think, "Yeah, but why?" Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to believe this? What's so good about doing/believing this? Do I want to do this way? I love asking these questions to myself, or sometimes to people. The saddest thing is that not many people appreciate, and be passionate about these questions.

Right now, I'm in the phase where I am supposed to be working hard on job hunting. And I see many collage students around my age are doing so. In Japan, job hunting is an event, and it's merely a system. And it's ridiculous. Students are forced to think about what they want to do after graduating, and start working on it even before they actually graduate besides doing schoolwork. If you don't graduate with a secured job, you're a loser. I mean, no, you're not a loser, but society will label you as an inadequate loser. Your parents are going to be worried about your future if you still haven't been accepted by a company or companies around the same time as your friends. Ugh, and the dumbest thing is that you have to wear those plain, boring suits to job interviews. How are we supposed to show ourselves, and be different when the society has this tacit rule? Well, you could wear your favorite suit to interviews. It doesn't have to be plain black like everybody else if you dare. But many people do not have the courage to do so; they want to play it safe, which is understandable. You see now, don't you? Many people almost automatically reach for plain black suits for job hunting because of the socially constructed, tacit rule. It is considered to be normal, and also safe. But this is so boring, and does not satisfy me. It does not convince me that I should also wear one of those suits like everyone else when I go to job interviews.

Schools are lame too. Wow, I just said that. lol To be record, I love reading, and learning new things, and I am always open for discussions. But I hate those boring exams, and having to study for them. I am not saying I hate exams all together, and never to want to take any. Exams can be more interesting, and be more challenging this perspective. Exams should be based more on what students have thought about after, and also within each lecture, not on how well students memorize things that were talked about in class. Yes, we need to have basic knowledge to think. But I think many students tend to stop here. Yes, having knowledge is great. But what is important is to think beyond that. We need to use our brain. What does the knowledge add to you? Do you agree with the author, lecturer, opinion, etc.? How does the knowledge matter to you? Do you see any connections between that knowledge you learned today with some other things you've learned? We should think about these things more rather than just going over knowledge and facts for exams. And exams should ask these kinds of questions to see what students actually learned. Trust me, students cannot build up on what was covered in class if they do not have basic knowledge taught in class. Students who don't come to class, or review at home don't even have a base to think upon. So in this way, lectures can see how well students contributed to class, and study the materials discussed in class without asking them to present basic factual stuff.

Oh, and you know what? I thought I could learn whatever I wanted. I thought collages were filled with love for learning. They're just a bunch of curriculum. And it's sad to see that many students are ok with that. They just deal with those curriculum and schoolwork like their job. They do what they're told to do, and get credits as a reward. They go to school, go to class, do homework, study for exams, take exams, and when they're done with exams, they forget all the things they learned in those courses they took. I want to do things this way: I studied, and learned, and credits came along. I don't want to study for credits. I mean, you can study as much as you want, and go beyond lectures and courses, which is what I do. I actually read the whole book that was introduced in class if I want to, even if that's not required. If I'm interested in a topic, or a thing, I study about it besides schoolwork. Studying doesn't end in class. You should study through your entire life, even after graduating school. You should be curious, and always ready to ask questions. Just focusing on what you're majoring in, and things you are told to do at school are not enough. Why am I saying this? Of course, I can just quietly continue what I have done, and refrain from giving opinions. But I want more of this study-loving atmosphere. I want to share my feelings with other people.

You don't have to do what I do to get credits, and graduate from collage. They may think it's better to do some other cool stuff, and put some so-so efforts to schoolwork. I mean that's fine too. But for me, learning is more fun and important. Cool folks may think I'm weird, or even annoying. Yup... I know I'm weird; I've always been that weird girl in class. lol But I've learned long ago that I never have to be cool, and I never have to pretend to be someone other than me to be popular. I don't even have to popular. Popularity isn't justice. Being popular doesn't mean you have a better quality than those who are not. Being cool is not my priority because again, what is cool, and what is not are socially constructed concept. Cool kids, and uncool, weird kids... And cool kids are prior to weird, unpopular kids... Nope, I am not going to take that classroom hierarchy ruled by society.

Ultimately, life is meaningless; our existence is so insignificant. Brutal honesty here! So... what are you going to do? You can just stop thinking, and be numb (and also dumb???). You can just spend your life like a routine. You can play it safe, and live it safe. Being average isn't so bad. Or you could live your life this way: life is meaningless, I don't owe anything to anybody, and nobody owes me anything; I'll do whatever I want. And I'm the latter. I'd rather be revolutionary than following the path that has proven to be relatively safe by so many people. You don't have to do great things to be revolutionary. Some revolutionary people end up mentioned in history textbooks, but you don't have to be those people to be revolutionary. Just remember that you really don't have to follow the rules, do the same as what most people do, and believe in things that are considered to be normal. Ultimately, there is no restrains, and ultimately, there's no "I had no choice." You are what you choose to be. So live your goddamn life.