The Middle Way...

Hey, everyone! Seems like I can upload a new post once a week lately! I wish I could post twice a week, but I guess that's impossible for me at least for now... *sigh*

Alright. In this post, I am going to write about balance. Life (and all the facets of life) is all about balance (= moderation). Sounds so simple, doesn't it? But it's easier said than done actually, at least for me!

I am pretty bad at keeping a good, healthy balance in many aspects of my life. For example, I am a hard worker. It might sound strange to say something like this about myself, but I truly am. lol I don't try to find a way to look like I'm working hard when I'm just sabotaging. When I have a homework assignment to do, I really work hard on it. I don't write trashy papers. When I have to write a paper, I always do my best to write a good one, one that is interesting enough for the professor to read it. I would hate myself so much if I did try to write a boring one just to finish the paper more quickly so that I could free myself from the duty. Moreover, I don't want to waste the professor's time by forcing him to read my meaningless paper. Isn't it rude, don't you think?

I know, it's good to be hardworking; it should be encouraged. But sometimes, it gets too much and too intense. Sometimes (or more than sometimes...? lol), I even feel guilty about taking a break. I feel like I should be studying more, instead of watching Netflix (Oh, by the way, have you watched Iron Fist? I highly recommend it! If you haven't watched it, stop reading this blog, and go watch it right away! lol) or reading comic books even when I deserve a good break. There are other examples like this. When I assign myself a rule, say, "I am going to eat healthy," I need to eat 100% healthy 100% of the time. I would eat lots of vegetables, no junk foods, and I would not have snacks or desserts at all. I would be so strict to myself, and make myself suffer. I also tend to work too hard on my romantic relationship. I am a girlfriend to an amazing man, and I always want to be the perfect girlfriend. I force myself to be nice, kind, and pretty all the time, to cook a lot for him, to help him with his work, etc., and tend to wore myself out. But I can't do that permanently, and so, I sometimes "fail," which leads to self-hate. And when I feel depressed, both of us are unhappy.

So, the point I am making here is: being hardworking is good, but when you start to work hard too much, and work too hard, you start to suffocate yourself, and that's when things become problematic.

This semester, I am taking a class called "Japanese Thoughts and Religion," and in this class, we are learning about Buddhism, especially Zen. The semester just started this month, and we've had only 2 classes so far since the beginning of this semester, so I still have so much more to learn obviously, even though I have already learned new things. I hope I can share more by the time the semester ends in July!

In the last class, we briefly learned about Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha, "the awakened one"), and his life. He was born in a royal family. After he was born, a holy man prophesied that he would either become a great king or a great monk. His father wanted his son to be a king just like himself, and decided that he would provide anything to keep his son in the palace. He thought, if his son is satisfied with his life in the palace, he would not be interested in the world outside of the palace (= the real world where people need to experience suffering sometimes, if not all the time).

But as you've probably guessed, he couldn't cover up the truth like that forever. Siddhartha Gautama became interested in what and how would the world outside of the palace be like, and one day, he got a chance to get out of the palace, and see the real world for himself. Of course, he was shocked to see how the real world looked like. He had never suffered; everything in the palace was so beautiful. Everyone in the palace was young, healthy, and beautiful. He encountered old people, ill people, and also dead people for the first time in his life. He returned to the palace, but his life in the palace wasn't the same anymore. He decided to leave the palace to go on a journey to find the truth, and did so when he was 29, leaving his duty as the price, and the future king, his wife, and his new born child behind.

This is the story that I heard in the class (I heard the same story in another class that I took last year.) of the life of Siddhartha Gautama before he started his journey to the enlightenment. And from that time, it took 6 years for him to achieve the enlightenment (= nirvana). First, he tried to achieve the enlightenment (= to be released from suffering, because according to him, life is suffering) through tough training which made him suffer physically, such as starving himself for days. But it didn't bring him any good outcome, and he wasn't satisfied. It didn't work. And one day, he realized that he didn't have to choose the extreme way; he could choose the middle way. I had to go through this part rather quickly and briefly because I do not know much in details yet... Sorry.

Too less is not good, too much is not good either. The moderate amount is always good. And this principle applies to everything. I know this principle, and I understand what this principle means. But for me, it's not so easy to practice it in my everyday life. If I wish to release myself from suffering (because I am suffering from doing too much!), however, I need to practice it, and learn to balance myself. It took Buddha 6 years to learn that it's all about the balance, and I'm wondering how many years it'll take for me to learn that. Definitely more than 6 years! lol

I hope you enjoyed the little story about Buddha. Try not to push yourself too much! Keep in mind: a good moderation is the key! See you in my next post!